Life is all about transitions, as you may have heard by now. How you cope with transitions, how you bounce back from them and even how you fight them all seem to get swept under the shadow of the transition itself. Of course you can’t have a transition without the before, the after and all the actions and reactions in between.
Why am I talking about transitions in such a vague way you may ask? Because I’m going to be making one in a month. Isn’t that the only reason anybody ever talks about anything? (Because it’s happening to them). In a month, I will be leaving grad school, moving to a suburb of Seattle WA to step up the ante on my long-term relationship and focus on the next steps of my career. For a girl born and raised in the Midwest by a religious family with boot strap work ethic, that’s like bungee jumping off of a cliff into a black pit. Sure you have a safety net but everyone’s heard the story of the girl who’s bungee cord snapped in half and left her flailing in the air.
I’m sure some, if not many, will make me out to be a slacker or a half-wit who just couldn’t cut it. Maybe I didn’t work twice as hard as anyone else. Maybe I slept more and drank less caffeine. Maybe I didn’t cry as much as the next guy I spent too much time in meetings organizing groups that filled a purpose in me that grad school wasn’t touching. Or maybe I didn’t. Maybe I worried just as much about my grades as all of my classmates and pulled just as many late nighters and early mornings working just as many jobs if not more. I don’t know and I will never know because I, nor anyone else, will not be conducting an in depth study on the graduate school achievement habits of myself nor my peers! So stop speculating you asses. Back to business.
One of the last posts I made was on transitioning into graduate school. A year later, I’m already transitioning out of it – without a degree. Mind you I have my plans to transition back into it after my year off. A different program, a different approach to grad school and I may just be able to finish what I set out to do.
It’s taken a year’s worth of mental energy, courage and preparation to face the disappointment of my family and mentors, the possible snubbing of my abilities from the institution I’m leaving and the lack of support I’ve shown myself in doing anything different from the norm. After a year though, I’ve stopped fighting my mind & body’s obvious rejection of this lifestyle and have decided to listen more than lead . . . or rather bully. Hot yoga, an amazing boyfriend and a participatory journalism course have reminded me that success comes in more than one flavor and you can get there in more than one way.
So here’s to being on the up & up. Here’s to making a way where there is none. Here’s to being unapologetic in who I am.